It’s in the way you say “I’m a little busy right now”
When what you’re actually saying is:
“I don’t want to talk to you”.
The words that mean ‘go away’
Or ‘we don’t want you here’
But are cunningly disguised,
Allowing you to say:
“That’s not what I said”
It’s not in what you say, but what you mean.
What is there but is often not seen,
So you can say “it was all a dream,
it’s all in your head…. Drama Queen”.
A smooth flow of casual words surround me.
I drop one in here or there
But if I do so with less of a care,
The way everyone else does, causing a flare
Thick, awkward, awful silence.
Followed by two words –
An inside joke from which I’m an outsider.
The subtext is back,
That familiar hidden dagger.
I’d try to defend myself but you’ll knock down my defence
Without dropping that act of innocence
And in a sense it’s just some words
And ‘sticks and stones will break my bones’.
You hide your hate with lighter tones,
But even still, you talk of phones
And all I can think is:
“why did I say that?”
If you find yourself wondering if you inspired this poem
then, well…. you probably did.
The innocent man doesn’t ask himself if
he’s the reason for another’s death.
“Did I take it too far?” you ask out loud,
a faint smile on your lips to amuse the crowd.
“Maybe a little” comes that amused reply,
they’re not backing me up.
They’re not on my side.
You laugh a little,
Then move on
But this is a loop;
I know what I did ‘wrong’.
So I’ll manipulate words
like you manipulate me.
You say in this country that we’re all free
But that doesn’t give you the right
For your anger to take flight
As you start a verbal fight
That’s very much one sided.
You want to see a reaction:
Shouting or crying or worse.
Well this is it –
My retaliation comes in verse.
I’ve sat around and let you push me to the brink.
I hope that after hearing this,
It might inspire you to think.
We have put an audio copy of Anya's Poem on our Pin Board click here to listen